Toad Swallows Cobra in Kentucky
24 May 2008

A large toad, raised in the Bluegrass famed for its value for thoroughbred race horses, swallowed a mature cobra in front of visitors at the 2nd Annual Toad Hill Farm Cobra Run in central Kentucky. Guests were aghast. This was not in an agenda which promised a mild early summer meet-n-greet and a friendly cruise in the countryside. The owner of the cobra passed out. No one even noticed Fred sprawled on the tarmac. People seemed mesmerized by a toad [with racing stripes and pictured on the event's flyer] that could manage such a feat.

Fred moaned. The crowd moaned. The toad moaned loudly. And seconds later Fred's cobra landed back in the yard, covered in some sticky spit and seeming little the worse for the experience. Despite the presence of numerous cameras, no one seemed sufficiently self-possessed to capture this amazing image. Limping slightly, Toady retired to the shade of a wild cheery tree whilst Kentucky Cobra Club members dried out the ignition of Fred's ride. The roll bar saved it said one as if he had a clue. In a jiffy it was time to give it a go. Someone went for the keys and found Fred, still on the tarmac. "Got the keys" said Suzie. Fred must be taking a nap. Oh, yuck, the dash is covered in warts, I am not going to get in there. Get Mikey, he'll do it. Mikey is married to a veterinarian. Soon, the motor sputtered and rumbled to life. The members flew to their cars, the cruise was on. "Somebody get Fred out of the driveway." Vroom. Vroom.

An hour or so later, after a cruise without traffic or further mishaps, the fourteen cobras rumbled back to the summit of Toad Hill. Fred was gone, leaving only a wet patch to mark the spot of his collapse. The sun was out, the sky was blue, food was ready and lies were begging to be told. Life is good here in Kentucky where all the women are beautiful, the children are above average and the toads are bigger than life.

Fourteen cars and 20 people attended. Check out www.kentuckycobraclub.com for photographic proof---all save the signature swallowing. Toady is there though.

Juan and Cindy Lopez-Bonilla, Randal Williamson, Terry and Julie Riebel, Jerry Joyner, Dave Fister, Phil Puckett, Sam and Monica Jackson, Mike and Jackie Silvers, Bill and Rochella Alley, Roger Bray, Zach and Adrian Matson, Mark and Leslie Nichols, Chas Munninghoff, Rich Bowden, Bea Bland, Vince Lubbers---
and, of course, Fred.

Warts and All

…burp…burp!